Media study: 148% of Americans believe voter fraud doesn't existĢ020 Election forecast: if Joe Biden emerges from the basement on Election Day and sees his shadow, expect four more years of TrumpīREAKING: President Trump pardons Corn Pop Prime Minister Modi: to avoid accusations of racism India will change its name to Clevelandīiden creates Antifascist Librarian Justice Committee the first book scheduled for burning is Fahrenheit 451 Sources: Biden transition team demands access to White House basement to begin renovationsīREAKING: President Trump pardons America for its past Pelosi introduces new House rule to replace 'gender' terms like mother, daughter, father, son with the word 'comrade' the only acceptable pronoun will also be 'comrade' JUST IN: China bans Twitter for being too totalitarian Social media justice: followers removed from pro-Trump accounts will be added to Biden's Twitter accountįact check: a democratic election is the one in which votes are counted until Democrats win IN: If you didn't vote Democrat, you can't complain! OUT: If you don't vote, you can't complain! Fact-checking commissars are monitoring all state-approved social media platforms for your convenience #Why cant we buy cube world freeTexas: Biden administration sends emergency wind turbines to help fight the blackoutsīREAKING: Biden signs executive order canceling the number 45ĪTTENTION: It is your duty to report anyone who says this is no longer a free country. New children's game: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Science 'Green energy' to be renamed 'blackout energy' for easier comprehension of climate complexities Social science breakthrough: 'White' is the new way of saying 'Bourgeois'īiden administration swat teams make sweeping arrests of underground female-only track meets Immigrants to Texas and Florida from New York and California break down and cry when they realize all their sacrifices for a better tomorrow were based on liesĬhina anal swabs detect new 'silent but deadly' transmission of covid-19 variant Social unity: They pretend to hold elections and we pretend we voted In the future everyone will get canceled for fifteen minutesīiden proposes bill to spend two trillion dollars on more money printing factories S ocialists vow to fight against Critical Socialism TheoryĪ more perfect Soviet Union: the Party pretends it unites us, and we pretend we are unitedīiden solves border crisis with free direct flights from Central America to major metropolitan areasĬritical race theory: destroy the world of systemic racism, build a world of systemic race-baiting Xze/She/He who controls the past controls the future Xze/She/He who controls the present controls the past Teachers Union: Idea that CRT is being taught in K-12 just a conspiracy theory by white supremacists trying to maintain their systemically racist police state #Why cant we buy cube world movieNew remake of the 1950's horror movie Them to be titled Them/They Study: Most people have had sex more violent than January 6thįacebook permanently bans Facebook from Facebook for violating Facebook community standards President Biden: 'Vote for me or I'll shoot this foot'įact checkers give Pinocchio's speech four Bidensįauci: The only thing we have to fear, is a lack of fear itself! Georgia Governor Stacy Abrams feels honored to be the new Supreme Court justice Global warming news: 100,000 Russian migrants fleeing climate change about to march into Ukraineįuture headline: Donald Trump to buy CNN for one dollar
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